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Dances w Ninjas
Hayabusa Ninja
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 10:47 am    Post subject: Alot of questions. . . Reply with quote

Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?

What is the speed of darkness?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

If it’s true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

Can you cry underwater?

How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s bum.”

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway ?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs !

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
then what is baby oil made from ?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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Daemon_Maior
Dragon Ninja
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 12:41 pm    Post subject: Re: Alot of questions. . . Reply with quote

WARNING: lots of answers, all made without any sort of backup
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every two hours?

because babies look very innocent when thay are asleep, they seem to be totally careless

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
yes

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

I'm assuming you mean they're dead(or is flat also a good term for stating they don;t work anymore) because we uncontiously assume there is a possibility they work, but they just don;t register our effords into pressing the button

Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?

I have no idea

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

how are they gonna check to see if there are 4 bilion stars?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
some bacteria can use even a non-living body, to prevent them from making the corpse go ugly the needles must still be steryl(SP?)

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
he didn't exist

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
see above answer

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
because they have to appear to be normal pilots

Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?
I don;t even know what it is. >.>

What is the speed of darkness?
darkness does not move.

If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
"cold" is not a measurable term

If it’s true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?
helping us, I guess. anyways IMO we're not here to help others.

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
just seems so.

Can you cry underwater?
yes, but you won't be able to notice it

How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
it's not a good idea, I hate rolling my luggage around, lifting the stuff FTW.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
same reason they think rolling luggage around is a good idea

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
someone very thirsty, who just saw the cow's kid(what are children of cows called in english?) do the same.

Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s bum.” someone very thirsty who just saw some other animal do the same.

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
to avoid the complaint: "it's can't be turned on high enough"

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
same reason they put money into binoculars on a hign building

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
pointing to your bum is considered rude in many cultures, because crap comes out of it.

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway ?
because normal people have to pay for their stripteases too. they don;t get payed for them

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
pluto can't talk

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??
people who have been blind all of their lives don't understand what there is to see so they don;t see, people who have once seen usually see in their dreams.

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
testical /omgwtfyouresofunny

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from ?
that's just a funny thing about language.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?
hehe, good one, no

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
becauswe they're both made for the same target group

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
what's the effect of alphabet soup here? it won;t taste any sifferent if you can;t read

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
I can honestly say I've never felt the need to blow in a dog's face

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
no
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Edge AoM
Head Ninja
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 12:41 pm    Post subject: Re: Alot of questions. . . Reply with quote

Dances w Ninjas wrote:

Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?


Because they can.

Quote:
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?


You can't verify the number of stars in the sky for yourself, but you can verify that the paint is, indeed, wet.

Quote:
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?


So it's "humane".

Quote:
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?


Facial hair grows faster when you begin shaving. Assuming Tarzan never shaved, it is possible had very little facial hair.

Quote:
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?


Because he can.

Quote:
What is the speed of darkness?


300,000,000 m/s.

Quote:
If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?


Twice as cold as today.

Quote:
Can you cry underwater?


No.

Quote:
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?


Because doctors aren't allowed to see their patients actually undressing. Strange, huh?

Quote:
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!


Because.

Quote:
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??


Yes and yes, although the former is unlikely if they have been blind from birth.

Quote:
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?


Testing.

Quote:
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?


Yes. On a similar note, always buy a car with a red paint job. Red Wuns Go Fasta.
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Daemon_Maior
Dragon Ninja
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 12:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL, I thought I'd be the only one stupid anough to answer all of the questions.

wait, you didn't do all of them.
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Masquito
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 2:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

problom solved!
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wizzard
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 9:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I didn't read any of that, I'll just smile and let the other moderators make sure that everything went smoothly.
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Ryu_Hayabusa
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 5:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

wizzard wrote:
I didn't read any of that, I'll just smile and let the other moderators make sure that everything went smoothly.


Smoothly indeed.
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Dances w Ninjas
Hayabusa Ninja
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 10:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow. I didn't expect answers.
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Ninja of Sorrow
Dragon Ninja
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 2:01 pm    Post subject: Re: Alot of questions. . . Reply with quote

Dances w Ninjas wrote:
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?


i have a light in my freezer. Neutral
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Daemon_Maior
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

you defy the laws of nature!
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Ryu_Hayabusa
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 3:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Daemon_Maior wrote:
you defy the laws of nature!


Or the creators thougt of something new.
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Daemon_Maior
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 3:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

then the creators defied the laws of nature!
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Ryu_Hayabusa
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 3:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Daemon_Maior wrote:
then the creators defied the laws of nature!


What is so defying about having a friggin' light in the goddamn fridge? Other then it emits light that is.
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Daemon_Maior
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 4:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

it's kinda like selling hotdog-buns in packages of 8 and hotdogs in packages of 10, IT MAKES NO SENSE, it that's just the way it is.
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Ryu_Hayabusa
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 4:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

As do most designs these days. Like the PSP-design we discussed in our other topic.
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