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Master (Go) Ninja Run
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Ninjilla
Divine Ninja
Divine Ninja


Joined: 23 Oct 2005
Posts: 4430
Location: San Antonio, TX

NG - Emblem (Amount: 1) NGB - Master (Amount: 1)

PostPosted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 9:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Vigoorian Clergy XD
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goninja
Expert Ninja
Expert Ninja


Joined: 18 Sep 2005
Posts: 442
Location: LA, CA


PostPosted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 12:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, so maybe this WAS sort of a distraction, but I didn't want to post anything until I was ready. And, as it stands, I'm not. I am, however, bored and sorta guilty, and require motivation. Or maybe I'm just not thinking straight. Whatever.

And here it weigh in time. This is where it starts to get...angry.

It's a cop-out ending anyway...


This came in too late to be last weekís special quote, and isnít related to this level, but it has to be said. Despite a lack of Ninpo at the end of that last level, I still came in a Head Ninja: ďAlright!Ē sez I, ďHead Ninja! I am Head of all the Ninjas! Send some ninjas in here...Iíll be their...dude!Ē No, I donít understand it either.

But still, that was amazing, if I do say so myself. It was also VERY cheap, AND cost me all my potions, but what the hell. My ego has been very well taken care of tonight.

Oh crap! Exploding bats! Donít worry though, Iím okay. Hey! Have I ever mentioned that it was HERE that, during my first run through on hard (I think) that the power went out before I could save? Oh? Well, donít worry. No power outs have hit LA recently, so I donít REALLY need to save, do I?

Hey, remember all the times I said the Lunar, and itís subsequent upgrades, honestly werenít worth that much? I take it back. ...Hey, remember all the times I said the Lunar, and itís subsequent upgrades, honestly werenít worth that much? Yeah. Totally right.

Cats have shuriken proof armor? What? How does that make sense?

Okay, made my first life extension via Life of the Gods. Hmm. I think I remember why they put that there, but I hope Iím wrong...

Okay, wait...Catwomen, Sickle Carrying Demons AND Red Ninjas now? Iím starting to think that this is an ďeverybody dog pile on RyuĒ sort of situation. Gosh Ryu, what did you do to them?

RARGH! I remembered correctly...Evil Ryu Clone Dude fight now. Gosh I hate that masked ninja. He is not a nice person. Worse still, heís using the Dragon Sword. Which means I can no longer rely on the ďIím the only ninja with a Dragon Sword on the screenĒ technique. That guy, on the screen, with the sword, raining down hits on the enemy? Not me. Which is too bad, cause heís owning that other guy. What a loser! Oh, wait, thatís me...

WAGH! No fair! We were both in the one-hit-kill zone, and he gets me with an exploding shuriken! It didnít even blow me up, it just...hit me. That was enough.

Oh well. Have I ever mentioned that my belief that Iím not a bad player does not come from the fact that I beat all the various modes of Ninja Gaiden (even Ninja Dog mode!), but from two sources: first, that my first run was without a guide (save for one occasion, which youíll have to ask me about sometime), AND the fact that several moves that I thought I invented, I noticed the clones did too. Ergo, Iím as good as a Ryu clone! At least, thatís what I tell myself; so why the sweet merciful crap canít I beat him?!?

Alright, I know Iím going to die this time. And, yes, sometimes itís those times that you actually pull through, but not today. It would be act of God is I made it, and we all know God hates me. After all, Iím addicted to something as mind bending difficult as Ninja Gaiden.

UGH! I had him, I swear I did! Uh, I have a cold, by the way. Iím sure thatís affected my gameplay. Otherwise, why else would my death count be dangerously close to breaking the record? Yeah...

Oh...CRAP! Wow. Thatís very, VERY demoralizing. And just when I thought I was starting to get the hang of this, he kills me in two moves. TWO! I kid you not.

Okay, thatís done now. Largely unspectacular when you get down to it. Hey, who else will never forget 2712 leftrightrightleft? Because I just did; had to check the log again.

Hey! Guess who just got killed in the safe room, without scoring a single hit on the various enemy forces? Yeah, me! And hey! Guess who didnít bother saving (itís not THAT important) after defeating the Ryu Clone? Yeah, ME!!! Stupid life.

THERE!!! ARE YA HAPPY?!? BROKE MY ďDEATHSĒ RECORD! Oh, if I never die again throughout the whole level, Iím gonna be SUPERPISSED!

Okay, on one hand, Iím pleased that I died again...sort of. Ergo, on the OTHER hand, Iím not thrilled with the Izuki Drop when I use it. ERGO, how do you think I feel when Ninja Joe over there uses it?

Funny story. I had only the tiniest shred of health left, so I paused instantly, and kept hitting the A button, nothing happened. Heh. Turns out, I was continually selecting use of the Dragon Sword, and... Oh come on! I donít have INFINITE Ninpo! How come I donít get that?!? Stoopid dumbass dummyhead clone...my computer recognizes NONE of those words I just described you with!

Okay. Finally. Done. Never have to deal with him AGAIN. For another couple of levels at least. Donít two clones replace Alma? Hey, you think I should bother saving?

Alright. I saved. Happy? Oh. Oops. I am suddenly quite happy that I saved. Heh.

Alright Ryu the Braindead. We just defeated Cloney MacGee, and now we canít get through that first hall beyond the explodey door?!? During our last FAILURE, a blue essence was FLOATING TEN INCHES ABOVE YOUR FAT HEAD!!!

Blah. I should make a counter for number of times Iíve hit the dresser on which my TV rests. Holy crap. This level is FAR from over. If I keep going at this rate, not only will I have broken my previous deaths record, but Iíll double it. Yep. Just broke twenty. Ho-lee crap.

Gosh. This is one of the most irritating things Iíve ever endured. And I had to sit for FOUR HOURS on hold with Dell Support.

Okay, that was...interesting. It appears that, having run out of crude and/or humoring things to say when I am severely killed by enemies, I made a sort of trumpeting noise out of slightly pursed lips. Does that even sink in? No? Aw, screw it.

Never mind. I found some new stuff to say. Things like ďHoly crap on a stick,Ē and ďGood gracious deary ME,Ē and...uh, other things. I finally had all my health regained, even had a little ninpo restored, and was SWARMED TO DEATH by cats. You know what? I honestly donít feel like playing anymore. Ninja Gaiden has made my mad, I mean REALLY mad, lots of times in the past, but for the first time (that I can recall), Iím just sort of...depressed. ďI killed myself because I couldnít get to the Hidden Underground on level six of Master Ninja Mode.Ē Huh. That would be a really-really-sad-but-at-the-same-time-sorta-almost-cool suicide note. Hmm. Maybe a better epitaph?

Iím not quite crying. But, come on! This is seriously sad. To combat the lack of health and Ninpo, I started going outside the gate before hand to see if I could boost myself with cat essence. Now, Iím getting killed there. Unfairity of unfairities. Here is a promise: if I donít make some kind of headway, right the frig now, then there will be some kind of consequence...and itís probably gonna happen to my Sharp 10-inch. ...Okay, headway THIS time. For sure.

Okay, I canít do this! I cannot! And, for once, it honestly isnít me! Look, Ryu, if you want to get yourself killed on your own watch, that is totally your own stupid problem. But MY reputation as a Master Ninja is frigginí on the line here! I canít help it when YOU want to attack the enemy that is FIFTY FRIGGINí FEET AWAY with a pitifully slow sword thrust INSTEAD of attacking the enemy that is DEFENSELESS AND ON THE GROUND IN FRONT OF YOU! I canít help the fact that you are a TOTAL AND COMPLETE IDIOT! SO WORK THE LIVING CRAP WITH ME!

ALRIGHT! So I DOUBLED my own STUPID RECORD! Whoop-de-friggin-do! For various reasons mentioned above, I attempted to push my wall out from the inside. Great. Not to mention the fact that, with my various angry leaps and head thrashes in front of the TV, I have probably gotten more exercise in the past six hours than in the past year. Oh, if only grandma could see me now! I am also on the verge of losing ANOTHER controller to NGS; ďNinja Gaiden Syndrome.Ē Thatís where I CHUCK IT AT THE GODDAMN WALL CAUSE IíM SO FRIGGINí ANNOYED AT LIFE IN GENERAL!!!

Holy crap. Two things have just occurred to me. Well, three, wait a second. First, I have finally entered: Pragmatic Mode. Pragmatic Mode is where, when faced with overwhealming odds, instead of dying like a ninja and writing something funny about it, you turn tail and shout, ďOKAY! Where the hell are those bats?Ē Second: I have been at this all day. This entry into the log of Goninjadom has got to be fifty pages long. Iíve written an epic. Nice.

Thirdly, I am NOT a save fanatic. I am a save fascist. Donít know the difference? Here, let me take up MORE valuable space:

Save fanatic: (n) A gamer who saves every chance he can get.

Save fascist: (n) A gamer who saves because heís getting his butt beat so often, that accomplishing minor tasks is becoming a save in the ass, so he saves to save time.

Just call me the save nazi; Iím saving to a point where I have essentially full health AND a single ninpo AND have cleared out the archive of ďgoodies.Ē Hokay. Letís try this...AGAIN!

O-holy crap! I think I heard the squishy crunch of BONE on that one!

WHAT? OH YES! Finally! Goodbye room! Iím NEVER coming back! Even if the game depends on it (which it does), Iíll float in that water until I grow a long, white ninja beard before I set foot in that rotten monkís chamber!

Alright! This next wave of foes in the most annoying yet, because it is both hard (not as hard as the last one), and it is ENDLESS! Yes!

Okay Ryu, jump! Jump! ...Jump already! Thank you. It all gets easier from here, right?

IT WAS HERE, AT WHAT SEEMED LIKE A TURNING POINT, THAT GONINJA MERCIFULLY DECIDED TO SPLIT THE REVIEW IN HALF. SORT OF LIKE THE FIRST LEVEL...WHICH WAS ALSO OVERLONG AND SUCKED. PLEASE, GET UP, STETCH. PUT ON SOME MUSIC. SOME LOOOOOOOOONG MUSIC.
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Ryu_Hayabusa
Shadow Ninja
Shadow Ninja


Joined: 10 Aug 2005
Posts: 11145
Location: The Netherlands

NG - Emblem (Amount: 1)

PostPosted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 1:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The frustration reveals itself Laughing
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3ternal_Rapture
Head Ninja
Head Ninja


Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 940
Location: UK, England
Gamertag: VCaptainCoffeeV
NGB - Master (Amount: 1)

PostPosted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 11:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice. Laughing
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Fiend_called_Bob
Head Ninja
Head Ninja


Joined: 14 Jun 2006
Posts: 1123



PostPosted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 12:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was going to give one try again to beat dark murai but now i've changed mind.
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goninja
Expert Ninja
Expert Ninja


Joined: 18 Sep 2005
Posts: 442
Location: LA, CA


PostPosted: Sun Nov 12, 2006 1:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You know, it's amazing, but a little victory can fool you into thinking the game in enjoyable and playable...for about five minutes. Update soon.
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Ookami
Dragon Ninja
Dragon Ninja


Joined: 29 Oct 2005
Posts: 2344
Location: San Jose, CA


PostPosted: Sun Nov 12, 2006 10:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Words cannot describe your awesomeness. Very Happy

But when you're doing really really really crappy... it's best to quit and come back later. NG is one of those games where you can only go downhill...
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goninja
Expert Ninja
Expert Ninja


Joined: 18 Sep 2005
Posts: 442
Location: LA, CA


PostPosted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 12:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's funny is, I can't really remember doing half of all this stuff. Huh. Must have blocked it out.

THIS THING ON? RIGHT. AFTER AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF SWEARING, WE REJOIN GONINJA AS HE MAKES HIS WAY UNDER THE MONASTERY. LETíS LISTEN IN...

Okay. The race with the rock? Not any harder! Dude, surely the rest of the game will be a breeze now, eh? Okay, unless you accidentally jump off the cliff, but thatís different. Uh...itís also different if youíre Flying Swallowing a downed Creepy White Fiend, and you Flying Swallow yourself off the cliff that way...crap. I didnít know that could happen.

Please donít tell me Iím the only one that, even when the counter has run, and even though it really doesnít matter, stays in that room with the various wasps and kills them each with shurikens to get huge combo points? Thank you.

Okay, on one hand, I hate the fact that you can only carry two Great Spirit Elixirs because...well, you can only carry two. BUT, on that infamous OTHER hand, I love it because I feel no guilt in using them here or there. No more of the good ole, ďI should really save that for later.Ē The infamous later that, in Ninja Gaiden at least, never seems to come...

Instinct reminds me that I shouldnít QUITE look in that chest before the Zombie Room. I wonder why...

What? Only two Archer Zombies? Thatís two shots at blue essencey health cut down to two not as useful, albeit cool lookiní, Ultimate Attacks. Stupid flails.

Oh wait, thatís right! The game determines that endless, tricked out zombies arenít enough, so they throw some Gallas at cha! Thanks guys...really needed that.

Ugh. I really hate this run. This, along with the run to the very first save point and a couple others, is my least favorite save-point-less run. And itís also very depressing to be defeated by Yellow Footloose Fiends.

I HATE it when that happens...when you die, and you see a Fiend go down right next to you, but you donít see what the essence was...I KNOW it would have been blue. Stupid cheating game...

Look, I donít know about YOU, but I canít see through GIANT ANCIENT CHAINS, okay? Gonna hafta cut ole Ryu just the tiniest bit of slack right there when the camera gets all wacko. I can either adjust it or helplessly retaliate. And even when I do that, Ryu does the wrong move anyway, so...itís really a ďdamned if you do, damned if you donítĒ kind of situation right there.

Oh! Foul! Just because Iíve awakened Zombies doesnít mean that all the essence from the Wasps should just disappear! Where does it go?

Have I mentioned how much I HATE this specific run yet? I mean, really, REALLY HATE it? I mean, are the Gallas REALLY necessary?

Oh! Holy crap! I finally got past it! The bottom floor, the elevator, the ritual room, the hall, the elevator again (although it took SEVERE abuse of the wall jump). And now...and now, I must face the ďThree Archers.Ē Iíll assume you know what Iím talking about. Please donít tell me Iím the only one who is severely pissed off by this arrangement in general.

And, I have...ONLY FOUR FRIGGINí ARROWS LEFT?!? Good thing I still have all those exploding shurkens.

By the way, am I also the only one in the world who is really pissed off by the acrobatics that it takes to get back up to the Dinosaur? I mean, come on! I just beat all that other crap you threw at me, cut me some slack! I remember the first time I played, that one part took me longer than the rest of the level...

Oh, no fair! Dino boy shouldnít be allowed to place ANY weight on an arm and/or leg I already slew. And he should really watch where he flings his tail (hey! Wasp Demons are people too!). I mean, heís been dead for a million years...God knows where itís been...

YES! HO YES! I can finally put this GRUESOME exercise behind me! Oh, crap. Please, please tell me that number down there is not real...please tell me Iím not going to actually post this...

Deaths: 41 (and even THAT is an underestimation Iím sure)

Favorite word: Shock the MONKEY! (okay, maybe not most used, but certainly one of the most interesting; awesome song, by the way)

Special quote: ďUgh. Now I gotta fight a dinosaur.Ē
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Ryu_Hayabusa
Shadow Ninja
Shadow Ninja


Joined: 10 Aug 2005
Posts: 11145
Location: The Netherlands

NG - Emblem (Amount: 1)

PostPosted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 2:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ROFLMAO!
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Daemon_Maior
Dragon Ninja
Dragon Ninja


Joined: 12 Aug 2005
Posts: 2820
Location: The Abyssal Throne of darkness


PostPosted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 3:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

goninja wrote:
Oh! Holy crap! I finally got past it! The bottom floor, the elevator, the ritual room, the hall, the elevator again (although it took SEVERE abuse of the wall jump). And now...and now, I must face the ďThree Archers.Ē Iíll assume you know what Iím talking about. Please donít tell me Iím the only one who is severely pissed off by this arrangement in general.


I agree, my personal record is IIRC about 20 times.
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Edge AoM
Head Ninja
Head Ninja


Joined: 04 Sep 2005
Posts: 1321
Location: Glasgow, Scotland


PostPosted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 3:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hurry up and get to Alma.
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Daemon_Maior
Dragon Ninja
Dragon Ninja


Joined: 12 Aug 2005
Posts: 2820
Location: The Abyssal Throne of darkness


PostPosted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 3:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

She's not that hard. I mean, can you remember EVERYONE thinking she is the hardest boss of all? back in the day when NG was out for only a few months. IMO, now she's just another boss. not much harder than doku, or marbus, just a bit more intense.
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goninja
Expert Ninja
Expert Ninja


Joined: 18 Sep 2005
Posts: 442
Location: LA, CA


PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 12:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Edge AoM wrote:
Hurry up and get to Alma.


Uh, no. If you thought this was bad...

And Daemon Major, yeah right. Remember, I'm not a stellar player like, I'll assume, all of you are. In fact, when it comes to Ninja Gaiden, I succeed largely thanks to luck. It woudl seem...
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Daemon_Maior
Dragon Ninja
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Joined: 12 Aug 2005
Posts: 2820
Location: The Abyssal Throne of darkness


PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 3:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

does everyone think Major in my name is spelled with a J?

and it has little to do with how you play, Alma just isn't that much harder than the other bosses anymore, IMO.
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Ryu_Hayabusa
Shadow Ninja
Shadow Ninja


Joined: 10 Aug 2005
Posts: 11145
Location: The Netherlands

NG - Emblem (Amount: 1)

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 3:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Daemon_Maior wrote:
does everyone think Major in my name is spelled with a J?

and it has little to do with how you play, Alma just isn't that much harder than the other bosses anymore, IMO.


Nope.
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