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The tough decision..
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sabotage
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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 2:33 pm    Post subject: The tough decision.. Reply with quote

So, I'm currently in the middle of a crappy situation.

About 2 hours ago I was with my Mom and we were heading to the schools to pick up my little sisters. Along the way though something bad happened. We were driving along and all of a sudden a dog darts across the road. Naturally my Mom slams on the brakes in a attempt to avoid hitting the dog. We're literally skidding down the road and when my Mom realized she was going to hit the dog she tries a last effort to avoid hitting the dog by switching lanes. Now we're literally skidding sideways on the other side of the road trying desperately to avoid the dog. However, there was an incoming car in the other lane so we were stuck. Either hit the dog or get in a head on collision. Sadly, the choice my Mom made was the choice I'm assuming anybody would've made. We switched back to our lane and hit the dog. It was unavoidable, something bad was destined to happen and my Mom did the natural maternal instinct thing and saved our lives by taking the life of a dog. If we didn't hit the dog we would've hit the oncoming car and it would've been nasty...


Anyways, BAM! We hit the dog. Hard. The dog goes flying. I was sitting in the passenger seat and as soon as I felt the impact I can see the dog flying up in the air. That image is still freaking me out by the way. Moving on, my Mom immediately pulls over and I naturally get out of the car to go to the dog and move him out of the road. However, the dog was perfectly laying in a ditch on the other side of the road. He was still alive and I was about to head across the street to the house and ask the people if it was their dog. Before I could do that though, my Mom was like, "OMG! What do we do? Who do I call?" She was asking so many questions so quickly I didn't even have a chance to answer one.

Just then a lady appears in her SUV and my Mom rushes to her to ask if she knew who's dog it was. The lady replied that the dog belonged to her neighbor and that it was always running around freely. The owner of the dog lives on the left side of the street, the dog came darting out from the woods that are on the right side of the street. Let that sink in for a moment... Now, I ask you, why the hell wasn't the dog on a chain or a leash? Who the hell lets their dog run around freely especially when their house is positioned on a busy road?

Anyways, the lady calls her neighbors and and the owner's son comes with his girlfriend. They arrive there and the dog is seriously in pain. Blood is coming from his mouth, he yelps with each breathe he takes, the bottom line is it hurt my heart to see this dog suffer. If I would've had a gun at that moment I would've put the poor thing out of it's misery. Now, I know this dog is a lost cause, it's going to die and there's nothing we can do about it. My mom however is offering the ladies son money to take the dog to the vet in hopes that they can save it. A couple minutes pass by and the dog stops breathing. The dog dies. Poor thing.

So, the son calls up his Mom on his cell phone, tells her what's going on, and I can literally hear this lady getting all hysterical. Of course I can understand, I mean I have pets and I'd be upset too if one of them died. Anyways, the son hands my Mom the cellphone and that's when I started to get pissed off. My Mom was trying desperately to explain to her that it was an accident and that she tried to avoid hitting the dog but the lady would not reason. I can hear this lady perfectly over the cellphone and when I heard her talk to my Mom the way she was I was only a second away from snatching the cellphone out of my Mom's hand and giving the lady a peice of my mind. She just kept saying that my Mom didn't care or whatever. I was thinking, "If we didn't care don't you think we would've just kept going and left the dog there?We didn't do that though. We stayed around to look for the owner of the dog and when we found the owner my Mom offered to take the dog to the vet."

Before I could do that though her son grabs the cellphone and tells his Mom to calm down and that it wasn't our fault. It was their fault for not putting the dog on a chain or a leash. The lady starts yelling at her own son and then he just hangs up on her. So, we offer our apologies and the son seems to understand that this was an unfortunate accident. Afterwords, we continue to the school to pick up my sisters and my Mom calls Chris (My Step-Father) and just starts crying. The owner of the dog is threatening to sue and my Mom is all worried that something bad could happen to her. She's so upset that she hit the dog and everything my attempts to console her are useless. Eventually she calms down and when we got home she immediately gets ready to go to work. Not even 30 minutes after she leaves the owner of the dog calls my house and just starts screaming at me.

She's ordering me to come down to the house and bury her dog. She wants me to go to the store, pick up a 45 gallon tub, head to her house and bury the dog in it. This was about an hour ago and I told her that I needed to make some phone calls because I don't have a way down there. (My POS car is broke down... again.)

I called Chris and tried to get in touch with my Mom but she's apparently very busy at work. Chris told me not to worry about it and I'm not, but an hour has passed and this lady is calling every 5 minutes. I stopped answering the phone but now she's leaving all these stupid threatening messages. I'm so close to just answering the phone to bvtch this lady out.

Anyways, what would you do if you were in my shoes?
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Last edited by sabotage on Fri May 12, 2006 4:02 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Dances w Ninjas
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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 2:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

While she is yelling, just say something like "Just shutup and listen!" very loud to make her stop talking for a second and just try to explain to her that it wasn't your fault, you feel guilty, you tried to help, and that she needs to realize that if she cares about her dog so much that she needs to be the one that takes care of the burial and expenses.
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Ninja of Sorrow
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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 2:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

wow Shocked

wasnt expecting that

but dude, i think you should confront her and tell her it wasnt your fault.

i feel bad for the poor thing but what would be worse,

one life dying, or the possibility of three people dying? (which couldve been you, your mother, and the next driver that crashed into you?)

it really wasnt anyones fault back there.

you (or the dog) were proably at the wrong place at the wrong time. and you cant really escape that.
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sabotage
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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 3:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, this has been an interesting hour. The owner of the dog was just at my house. She had her daughter knock on the door so I had to go out and talk to her. Get this, the lady actually had shovels in her back seat and she was going to drive me to her house so I can bury her dog. I told her I couldn't because I was watching my little sisters (My Mom and Chris are at work) but she insisted to bring them with me. Naturally, I was like, "l can't do that but let me make some phone calls to see if I could find somebody to watch the kids."

So she patiently waits a whole 5 minutes and then starts ringing my doorbell like crazy. I ignore it and call my Mom's cell and she told me that the cops are on the way so to just ignore her and wait for them to arrive to handle the problem. Time passes by and the lady calls my house phone from her cell. I answer and she wants to know what's going on so I tell her that I'm trying to find somebody to watch the kids so I can go take care of the burial for some dog that's not mine. She then tells me that they can come with us and that she'll watch the kids while I bury her dog. I tell her that I can't do that and she starts to give me this big attitude and she goes on to tell me her sob story that involves her sister getting in a terrible accident, her husband that has gotten ill, her job problems and everything else. I bite my tongue and just say "Wow, sorry to hear that" when the truth is I really want to say "I really don't care about your personal problems because I have my own to deal with."

Anyways, I manage to get off the phone with her and I call my sister and just told her to stay on the phone with me to keep the line busy that way the lady can't call me back. I tell my sister everything that's going on and I tell her to not come home. She asks why and I explain to her that if she comes home the lady will realize that someone is here to take care of the kids and I won't have a reason to not go bury her dog. So, there I am talking to my sister about anything to keep the line busy when FINALLY the cops show up.

I talk to the cop about the situation and he even tells me that the dog is not my responsibility. I reply with "Yea I know but this lady won't stop bothering me" and he said that he'd take care of it. Five minutes pass and the lady is finally off my property and the cop comes back to say, "The lady wanted me to ask you one last time if you wanted to go bury her dog? Remember though, this is not your responsibility and you don't have to." I tell him that I can't because I have to watch the little ones and he says allright and leaves.


Sheesh... these past couple hours have been crazy. Oh well, thank God it's over.
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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 3:52 pm    Post subject: Re: The tough decision.. Reply with quote

sabotage wrote:
Anyways, what would you do if you were in my shoes?


I'd like to start off by saying that you're in a strong moral position here. You already have the forgiveness of the son who was supposed to be looking after the dog (and therefore would be affected most mentally and emotionally by the loss), and now you've just got an angry female on your case who, by the way, has no right to tell you to bury the dog. It's HER dog, it's HER name on the licence and SHE has to dispose of it now that it's dead; but at the same time, anger and shouting won't help. You have a few choices.

Firstly, you can make a written apology. Since you know who owns the dog, you therefore know their address and can post a letter. Do it in your own handwriting rather than on a word processor, as it makes it more personal. Describe exactly what happened on the day of the accident (your dog or a multi-automobile pile up and a probable fatality count of at least 2) and apologise profusely. Hopefully, this will calm the woman down.

Secondly, you can call her bluff. There's no way in Hell that she can sue you for running over her dog; the dog was running around a busy traffic area, without a leash, and as you've said the family was aware that the dog had a history of doing this. That, to me, is mistreatment of a pet by not guaranteeing it's safety. Also, you were honest and helpful enough on the day that the family of the dog might stand by your mom instead of theirs. I don't recommend this choice of action very much, especially if you want to live in the same neighbourhood for a long time, but bare these facts in mind if she refuses to listen to reason.

Thirdly, the "SHUT UP AND LISTEN" approach, as outlined above by DwN. Make sure you say exactly that; don't add cuss words for effect as they'll ultimately detract from the meaning of the words. Follow this up by saying what you would write in the letter in solution #1. Speak calmly and clearly, giving pauses between each sentence.

Lastly, since both of your families now have more contact than you'd expect, perhaps you could assist in picking out a new dog for them. I understand dogs are very, very expensive in the States, but you can get one from a home or pound for a lesser cost, and it would be more...touching, I suppose, for the family to be helping a dog in need.

I hope this helps.
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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

wow Edge

for me definitely thats some great advice Wink
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sabotage
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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 4:10 pm    Post subject: Re: The tough decision.. Reply with quote

Edge AoM wrote:
sabotage wrote:
Anyways, what would you do if you were in my shoes?


I'd like to start off by saying that you're in a strong moral position here. You already have the forgiveness of the son who was supposed to be looking after the dog (and therefore would be affected most mentally and emotionally by the loss), and now you've just got an angry female on your case who, by the way, has no right to tell you to bury the dog. It's HER dog, it's HER name on the licence and SHE has to dispose of it now that it's dead; but at the same time, anger and shouting won't help. You have a few choices.

Firstly, you can make a written apology. Since you know who owns the dog, you therefore know their address and can post a letter. Do it in your own handwriting rather than on a word processor, as it makes it more personal. Describe exactly what happened on the day of the accident (your dog or a multi-automobile pile up and a probable fatality count of at least 2) and apologise profusely. Hopefully, this will calm the woman down.

Secondly, you can call her bluff. There's no way in Hell that she can sue you for running over her dog; the dog was running around a busy traffic area, without a leash, and as you've said the family was aware that the dog had a history of doing this. That, to me, is mistreatment of a pet by not guaranteeing it's safety. Also, you were honest and helpful enough on the day that the family of the dog might stand by your mom instead of theirs. I don't recommend this choice of action very much, especially if you want to live in the same neighbourhood for a long time, but bare these facts in mind if she refuses to listen to reason.

Thirdly, the "SHUT UP AND LISTEN" approach, as outlined above by DwN. Make sure you say exactly that; don't add cuss words for effect as they'll ultimately detract from the meaning of the words. Follow this up by saying what you would write in the letter in solution #1. Speak calmly and clearly, giving pauses between each sentence.

Lastly, since both of your families now have more contact than you'd expect, perhaps you could assist in picking out a new dog for them. I understand dogs are very, very expensive in the States, but you can get one from a home or pound for a lesser cost, and it would be more...touching, I suppose, for the family to be helping a dog in need.

I hope this helps.


This is all good advice but it seems like the best thing to do is offer our apologies, which we've already done. I don't necessarily like the idea of offering to get them a new dog though. It seems they have a couple already and none of them are chained up. It'd be wrong to help them get a new dog considering it might end up sharing the same fate of the poor dog we hit. I'm hoping after this she starts to chain up her remaining dogs to avoid a loss like this one again.

Again, my Mom tried desperately to avoid hitting the dog and it's a sad situation when I look back at it and realize there really wasn't anything we could've done to prevent this from happening. My Mom tried to explain this to the lady but she just wasn't hearing it. Maybe after a couple weeks pass she'll be willing to hear the story.
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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 4:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i really am sorry about that though

people need to realize more of someone elses point of view

i hope you end up ok with this whole thing going on with you
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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 6:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

see this is what im talking about. that woman has the same kind of attitude as the one woman who sued McDonalds because she got fat. it makes NO sense, she has No common sense, an OBVIOUSLY spoiled brat when raised, and a b!tch. these kind of people in thw world shouldnt get the respect that they demand
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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 7:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

^^^agreed

Oh well, one helluva day you've gone through sabo. Calm down and rest, just remember that none of this is yours or your family's fault. And don't be so hard on yourself either, no one could have stopped it, it was bound to happen if it wasn't chained up. These problems happen every day..
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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

and hell, it wasnt you behind the wheel was it? wait...were you?
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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 9:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's crazy man. You did everything that you could. It sounds like it's over now though. You did what you could. Try not to feel guilty about it. Hopefully your mom will realize this soon as well. I'll pray for you guys.
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sabotage
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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 9:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heck, I'm fine. My Mom is finally over it as well once she realized there really wasn't anything she could've done to change the outcome. If we didn't hit the dog the guy in the other lane would've. No matter what that dog was going to die today. It sucks that we had to be the ones to end it's life but it was either the dog or possibly 3 people. Heck there was probably more than 1 person in the other vehicle. I wasn't wearing my seat belt either so if we were to get in a head-on collision I would've went through the windshield and possibly been put in critical condition or worse...
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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well its sure is good that you are alright and not dead...

its just sad to see something die because of what you did though
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PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 9:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sabotage wrote:
Heck, I'm fine. My Mom is finally over it as well once she realized there really wasn't anything she could've done to change the outcome. If we didn't hit the dog the guy in the other lane would've. No matter what that dog was going to die today. It sucks that we had to be the ones to end it's life but it was either the dog or possibly 3 people. Heck there was probably more than 1 person in the other vehicle. I wasn't wearing my seat belt either so if we were to get in a head-on collision I would've went through the windshield and possibly been put in critical condition or worse...


... good reason to wear a seatbelt.
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