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Ryu_Hayabusa
Shadow Ninja
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Joined: 10 Aug 2005
Posts: 11145
Location: The Netherlands

NG - Emblem (Amount: 1)

PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 9:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seidon wrote:
My first chapter is now complete!!

"Exile" spans 6 microsoft word pages and is compromised of 2,985 words.

But that may become shorter or longer depending on what "Miniaznguy" thinks of it.

I have emailed it to him and am hoping for a reply soon.


6 pages? Impressive work, can't wait to see it here.
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Seidon
Runaway Ninja
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Joined: 02 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 9:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

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Ryu_Hayabusa
Shadow Ninja
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Joined: 10 Aug 2005
Posts: 11145
Location: The Netherlands

NG - Emblem (Amount: 1)

PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 9:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seidon wrote:
i am jus hoping i haven't spread it on to thin. there is one scene in particular i am worried about because it is important to the story as a whole and i dont think i did it justice.

On the other hand there is a scene i am particularly proud of but there is still something about it that irks me.


If it turns out quite good no worries there. If it turns out not like you hoped then you can rewrite it as you see fit. You don't bring down a large tree with a single swipe.
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Seidon
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 5:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

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Seidon
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 6:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

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Ryu_Hayabusa
Shadow Ninja
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Joined: 10 Aug 2005
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Location: The Netherlands

NG - Emblem (Amount: 1)

PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 7:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seidon wrote:
After receiving a good reveiw from "Miniaznguy" with the only complaint being that he wished it were longer and that i had done a prologue i am happy to submit this chapter to Keylay. So if all goes well (and hopefully it does) you can expect to see the first Chapter of "Divine Shadow" soon.

Very Happy


W00t! Cannot wait to have a go at it.
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Seidon
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 7:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

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miniaznguy
Dragon Ninja
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Joined: 23 Oct 2005
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Location: unsuspiciously having an affair with your mom >.>
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 1:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seidon wrote:
After receiving a good reveiw from "Miniaznguy" with the only complaint being that he wished it were longer and that i had done a prologue i am happy to submit this chapter to Keylay. So if all goes well (and hopefully it does) you can expect to see the first Chapter of "Divine Shadow" soon.

Very Happy


AND i gave like 2 thorough paragraphs of a prolouge to Seidon for ideas. It was unrefined though cus i was thinking up words off the top of my head
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Ryu_Hayabusa
Shadow Ninja
Shadow Ninja


Joined: 10 Aug 2005
Posts: 11145
Location: The Netherlands

NG - Emblem (Amount: 1)

PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 1:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

miniaznguy wrote:
Seidon wrote:
After receiving a good reveiw from "Miniaznguy" with the only complaint being that he wished it were longer and that i had done a prologue i am happy to submit this chapter to Keylay. So if all goes well (and hopefully it does) you can expect to see the first Chapter of "Divine Shadow" soon.

Very Happy


AND i gave like 2 thorough paragraphs of a prolouge to Seidon for ideas. It was unrefined though cus i was thinking up words off the top of my head


You two should go into co-writing. I would love to see that.
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Seidon
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 8:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

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Patrask
Common Ninja
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Joined: 03 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 12:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I liked it, looking forward to the next chapter. Smile

Noticed a few typos, lack of commas and other minor mistakes.
Just something you could think about for future chapters.
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Seidon
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 12:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

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miniaznguy
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 3:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

you can email it to me again if you want to
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Ryu_Hayabusa
Shadow Ninja
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Joined: 10 Aug 2005
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Location: The Netherlands

NG - Emblem (Amount: 1)

PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 3:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can say two words (as opposed to your 1000 Razz ): Awesome read Very Happy
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Seidon
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 3:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

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